Yesterday evening was so depressive that I wanted to end up jumping out of a window. Or hanging on a tree. Or both. At once. It’s really sad when your dreams turn into ashes even if they are as impossible as earclaps. I mean, it’s just human nature to hope for something and believe in this something and do as much as you can to get to it. But it’s not always possible. And it’s very sad. HOWEVER, the world doesn’t end when you lose something: on the contrary, the loss should be your motivation to do more. Whenever you’ll need the same stimulus in the future.
There are things we can’t help. At first, there appears this feeling of resentment; next you feel pain and finally want to cry and blame yourself for your failure and… STOP! I hate to think what might be next. People always need time to think some things over and so do I. My nature is that I always have the hots before something else happens. And this is WRONG. I know that I need time but have the hots anyways, isn’t that sick? That becomes even more sick when you realise that you can’t do anything about it because it’s simply… out of your reach. But you have the hots, anyways. And that’s the story about me.
So, yesterday I was down. Today I woke up with this belief that there are seven billion of people here on this planet and at least half of them have the same expectations toward the world as me. That gives me three and a half billion. Let’s say that a half of this number is constituted by women and that gives me one billion and 750 million. And let’s say that a half of this number has similar chances in getting one particuar dream come true and that’s something around 825 million. 1:825 000 000 looks scary. Even more scary when you realise that women constitute more than a half of world’s population. Why do I count such thing? The answer is simple: to understand that I am not one and only girl living here who must have everything what other girls have. And I shouldn’t envy anyone anything. YEAH, it’s all about a boy.
OMG, how I wish I was ASEXUAL…
How do you cope with different platonical feelings?